The John Kerry campaign has announced its
new slogan: "John Kerry -- he has 57 varieties of answer to every
question! And he has voted 57 ways on every bill put before the House
and Senate!"
Kerry campaign spokeswoman Melissa
Flommerliar said that Kerry and his wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry,
discussed the "burden of such a famous name as 'Heinz'," and felt that
rather than fight it, "it was best to just use it."
Flommerliar added that, "since John is
getting so much grief from the Bush people, you know, just because he
votes several times and in several different ways on every possible
issue, and just because he changes his tune on everything, again we
thought, 'why fight it?' So we decided to just use it to our
advantage. Oh, and we've decided to no longer refer to it as 'changing
his tune.' We've decided to call it 'being flexible.' Think how much
easier it will be to deal with, say, Al Qaeda, if the man in the
White House is flexible!"
Another Dave Schultz Web Site
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