Boston - Speaking last night at the Rally
for Gay Marriage sponsored by Boston College’s Barney Frank Institute
for Abnormal Sexuality, Democrat presidential frontrunner John Kerry
announced that if elected he intends to make gigolo rights an
important theme of his presidency.
Kerry, whose first and second wives have
fortunes of $200 million and $600 million respectively, told the
audience that he “feels the pain” of gigolos.
“I understand what it is like to have to
make love night after night with older wealthy women with sagging
breasts and varicose veins,” Senator Kerry told the crowd. “I
comprehend completely the sexual humiliation foisted upon gigolos by
wealthy society matrons, including the wearing of degrading costumes,
handcuffs, and appliances inserted into a variety of bodily orifices.
Gigolos work hard to access the incredible wealth of their clients,
and I believe that a caring America should respect their contributions
to society.”
Kerry also announced plans to introduce the
so-called “Richard Gere” Act into Congress before it adjourns in the
fall. The senator then excused himself, saying that he had to sexually
service a number of elderly wealthy widows who had contributed to his
campaign the maximum amount permitted by law.
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