Washington, DC - Teresa Heinz-Kerry, wife of Democrat presidential
frontrunner Senator John Kerry and the widow of the late Senator John
Heinz, has lost her estimated $600 million fortune due to speculation
in commodities futures, according to a report to be published tomorrow
in The Wall Street Journal. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist and
Minority Leader Tom Daschle have issued a joint communiqué in which
they state that Ms. Heinz-Kerry will no longer be afforded sleeping
privileges with senators from either party.
Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert, however, stated during a press
conference this morning that Ms. Heinz-Kerry is free to fool around
with members of the House of Representatives if she first makes a
deposit with the Department of the Treasury. Senator Kerry told
reporters covering his campaign that, while it is regrettable about
the $600 million loss, he took a vow to stand by his wife “for richer
or poorer” and intends to do so. The Senator also announced that for
the next several weeks he will be campaigning exclusively in Las
Vegas.
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